I realize that people belong to one of two camps: Friendly or Not. I used to think that this was caused by life experiences that turned them off to interaction or because they were either extroverts or introverts but now I'm not so sure. I question this because I've noticed a disproportionate number of kids that seem to fall into the NOT friendly category. Could they all be introverts or are parents not teaching kids how to interact with others?
We have a 19 month old daughter who understands both English and Spanish and has about 10 to 15 words in both languages. Despite a lack of an expansive vocabulary at this time she does not have any trouble communicating non-verbally. She is big for her age... she is as tall or taller than most 2 year olds and maybe some 3 year olds... so most people assume she is older. Now that she is walking around and "talking" I have noticed that most kids we encounter are just not "nice". When she sees other kids she smiles, waves, tries to give them toys, tries to play with them, tries to dance or asks them to follow. She is gently engaging, kind, welcoming and encourages others to join her but most kids turn away, grab their mom, some pout, or worse charge her if she is standing by them. Perhaps her size is the root of the problem since even kids expect her to be able to communicate like them (with words instead of gestures) and may be less receptive to what seems like an older child acting like a "baby".
We have a 19 month old daughter who understands both English and Spanish and has about 10 to 15 words in both languages. Despite a lack of an expansive vocabulary at this time she does not have any trouble communicating non-verbally. She is big for her age... she is as tall or taller than most 2 year olds and maybe some 3 year olds... so most people assume she is older. Now that she is walking around and "talking" I have noticed that most kids we encounter are just not "nice". When she sees other kids she smiles, waves, tries to give them toys, tries to play with them, tries to dance or asks them to follow. She is gently engaging, kind, welcoming and encourages others to join her but most kids turn away, grab their mom, some pout, or worse charge her if she is standing by them. Perhaps her size is the root of the problem since even kids expect her to be able to communicate like them (with words instead of gestures) and may be less receptive to what seems like an older child acting like a "baby".
What's a mom to do? Yes I know that kids this age and very self centered by the nature of their development stage but isn't it the parents' job to encourage them to acknowledged others? Very much like it's our job to make them sleep naps, eat veggies, wash hands, etc.
I always stay by her and make sure she is not "attacking" the kids. She does not yell or charge them... on the contrary she slowly approaches seeking to make eye contact but she seems genuinely sad and disappointed when they won't engage. Usually the moms of these kids act as if we are not even there. They don't say hello or try to encourage their child to wave back or smile. Now that said, I'm not expecting them to have a play date while we shop for clothes or groceries but how could a greeting and a smile hurt? Are we that uncivil? I mean we're supposed to live in a friendly city.
Regardless, I have to say I'm at a loss. I don't want her to feel discouraged or change her natural reaction to involve others. I want her to be the one who thinks of other kids, the one who shares her toys and asks others to join her play but I don't know how to explain or make her feel better when she's snubbed. I'd love your thoughts and advice. Please tell me how you deal with similar situations or if you're the mom who acts as if other kids and parents are not there, can you explain? Maybe if I understand your point of view I can formulate a way to better deal with my child's disappointment. Help me be a better mom. Share your comments as long as they are constructive I'm all ears.
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