There is nothing sweeter than tiny ears and a tiny nose, tiny fingers and tiny toes… Today our baby is 12 days old. She has spent almost every moment since birth in my arms: feeding, sleeping… being.
Her new baby smell and tiny features are achingly beautiful to me because I see not just her beauty but the moments I was too overwhelmed to absorb with our first. Truth be told I’m just as tired & overwhelmed as before if not more (juggling two seems harder even with my husband’s help) but I now know just how quickly time passes and I’m determined to absorb, enjoy & etch it in my memory. The sleepless nights will pass and before I know it we will be chasing a toddler and then a preschooler and then… well I better enjoy this time along with all her tiny bits.
Welcome home little one.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Is Parenting Easier than Driving?
Have you ever noticed that we put more work into learning to drive than we do into learning to be good parents? Most of us take the job seriously but don't really seek out any kind of training (other than the school of hard knocks). But why? Why would we not want to learn as much as possible about teaching and helping our kids when there is a wealth of information available?
It was this blog that helped me discover a very useful tool. A friend and fellow member of our church read my blog. She is the mother of three all under the age of four. She sent me a message praising the blog as a good way to reach out to others for advice (i.e. help) and she shared that when they had their first little one her husband and her attended a parenting class offered by our church.
This got me thinking and searching. It turns out that the parenting class is an effort funded by the Kronkosky Charitable Foundation and it is offered by many non-profits throughout San Antonio and Texas in both English and Spanish (I'm sure that if this exact class is not available in your area other positive parenting classes are). So I signed us up for the first class available.
Last night we attended our second night of Precious Minds, New Connections parenting classes and I have to say that this is a great tool indeed. This particular class is taught by two seasoned moms who are also educators and very easy going. Yes, some of the material is information we're already familiar with like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs or Erikson's Developmental Stages (ever heard of a mid-life crisis) BUT it is good to review and even better to learn how to apply these theories to help you parent better.
This class teaches us parents how to understand our child or children well enough to determine how to best help them develop into stable adults. In reality, if we listen carefully and are open minded we can even pick-up great tips on how to improve our social interactions with almost everyone including our spouses.
Most of the Precious Minds, New Connections parenting classes provide free child care during the class time and snacks & refreshments during class. You can find a class by checking with your church or synagogue or other non-profits. You may also find a class by searching online.
I highly recommend that every parent of a child four and under take this class or another comparable positive parenting class. It will be worth your time and you might meet some other parents who share your concerns and your goals. I'm looking forward to our other six classes and hope to use these tools for years to come as I trek through parenthood.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Letter to my Daughter
Hija mía (Daughter of mine),
On a cold rainy day I sit in a coffee house during my lunch hour wishing I could be home with you. Happy that you are home with daddy and that he is sharing his love and patience with you as he trys his best to teach and comfort you. I think about how you smile at the mention of papi and are almost always ready with a hug and kiss for him. I try hard not to get too emotional thinking that it should be me home with you and remember to be grateful that regardless of traditional roles you are home with a parent who loves and cares for you.
Funny how before you came into our lives we had a plan but it wasn’t until you were actually here that we realized that our plans need more tweaking and a lot more flexibility. Some day when you are grown and have your own children perhaps you will read this letter and you will understand that being a parent is hard and that right or wrong your papi and I always tried our best to give you a sense of self, strength, and opportunities. I also hope that our friendship and love will make us for these hours I have to miss with you.
Although you are not quite 2 years old yet your papi and I are already looking at the future thinking about your education. We want you to have it all and to learn to not just speak our/your native language but to understand and love your roots and culture. Like us you will straddle two worlds sometimes owning both and other times neither. By birth you are American but your blood is a mixture of those ancient people, European and Native, that have blended traditions and faith and formed our beautiful neighbor- Mexico.
Through your veins courses the wisdom and pain of past civilizations. Your blood is rich with culture and your roots are strong. That said, we hope your footsteps in this country are steady and full of purpose for you’re walking in your home. May you find or make paths in the USA but not forget your blood.
Papi and I worry about how to give you the gift of a second and maybe third language. We know that the world is so much larger than our own neighborhoods and want you to be a citizen of the world so what better way to help you on that path than through language. Of course since you are but a little toddler we also worry about everyday things like keeping you healthy and growing strong but we can already see how bright you are and we are sure we can handle the little stuff now so we have leaped into the bigger issues like education, language, travel, etc.
I guess the real reason for this letter is to share my intent. I want to tell you and the world what our hopes and goals are for you and therefore be even more accountable. Understanding that our faith asks us to put things in God’s hands we are sure that someway somehow we will find the opportunities needed to give you all we can. We are eagerly on a journey that will shape us all and if you hold on for the ride and forgive us our stumbles we are sure the world will be better because you are in it.
Con mucho amor,
Tú mami
On a cold rainy day I sit in a coffee house during my lunch hour wishing I could be home with you. Happy that you are home with daddy and that he is sharing his love and patience with you as he trys his best to teach and comfort you. I think about how you smile at the mention of papi and are almost always ready with a hug and kiss for him. I try hard not to get too emotional thinking that it should be me home with you and remember to be grateful that regardless of traditional roles you are home with a parent who loves and cares for you.
Funny how before you came into our lives we had a plan but it wasn’t until you were actually here that we realized that our plans need more tweaking and a lot more flexibility. Some day when you are grown and have your own children perhaps you will read this letter and you will understand that being a parent is hard and that right or wrong your papi and I always tried our best to give you a sense of self, strength, and opportunities. I also hope that our friendship and love will make us for these hours I have to miss with you.
Although you are not quite 2 years old yet your papi and I are already looking at the future thinking about your education. We want you to have it all and to learn to not just speak our/your native language but to understand and love your roots and culture. Like us you will straddle two worlds sometimes owning both and other times neither. By birth you are American but your blood is a mixture of those ancient people, European and Native, that have blended traditions and faith and formed our beautiful neighbor- Mexico.
Through your veins courses the wisdom and pain of past civilizations. Your blood is rich with culture and your roots are strong. That said, we hope your footsteps in this country are steady and full of purpose for you’re walking in your home. May you find or make paths in the USA but not forget your blood.
Papi and I worry about how to give you the gift of a second and maybe third language. We know that the world is so much larger than our own neighborhoods and want you to be a citizen of the world so what better way to help you on that path than through language. Of course since you are but a little toddler we also worry about everyday things like keeping you healthy and growing strong but we can already see how bright you are and we are sure we can handle the little stuff now so we have leaped into the bigger issues like education, language, travel, etc.
I guess the real reason for this letter is to share my intent. I want to tell you and the world what our hopes and goals are for you and therefore be even more accountable. Understanding that our faith asks us to put things in God’s hands we are sure that someway somehow we will find the opportunities needed to give you all we can. We are eagerly on a journey that will shape us all and if you hold on for the ride and forgive us our stumbles we are sure the world will be better because you are in it.
Con mucho amor,
Tú mami
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Kids: Friendly or Not
I realize that people belong to one of two camps: Friendly or Not. I used to think that this was caused by life experiences that turned them off to interaction or because they were either extroverts or introverts but now I'm not so sure. I question this because I've noticed a disproportionate number of kids that seem to fall into the NOT friendly category. Could they all be introverts or are parents not teaching kids how to interact with others?
We have a 19 month old daughter who understands both English and Spanish and has about 10 to 15 words in both languages. Despite a lack of an expansive vocabulary at this time she does not have any trouble communicating non-verbally. She is big for her age... she is as tall or taller than most 2 year olds and maybe some 3 year olds... so most people assume she is older. Now that she is walking around and "talking" I have noticed that most kids we encounter are just not "nice". When she sees other kids she smiles, waves, tries to give them toys, tries to play with them, tries to dance or asks them to follow. She is gently engaging, kind, welcoming and encourages others to join her but most kids turn away, grab their mom, some pout, or worse charge her if she is standing by them. Perhaps her size is the root of the problem since even kids expect her to be able to communicate like them (with words instead of gestures) and may be less receptive to what seems like an older child acting like a "baby".
We have a 19 month old daughter who understands both English and Spanish and has about 10 to 15 words in both languages. Despite a lack of an expansive vocabulary at this time she does not have any trouble communicating non-verbally. She is big for her age... she is as tall or taller than most 2 year olds and maybe some 3 year olds... so most people assume she is older. Now that she is walking around and "talking" I have noticed that most kids we encounter are just not "nice". When she sees other kids she smiles, waves, tries to give them toys, tries to play with them, tries to dance or asks them to follow. She is gently engaging, kind, welcoming and encourages others to join her but most kids turn away, grab their mom, some pout, or worse charge her if she is standing by them. Perhaps her size is the root of the problem since even kids expect her to be able to communicate like them (with words instead of gestures) and may be less receptive to what seems like an older child acting like a "baby".
What's a mom to do? Yes I know that kids this age and very self centered by the nature of their development stage but isn't it the parents' job to encourage them to acknowledged others? Very much like it's our job to make them sleep naps, eat veggies, wash hands, etc.
I always stay by her and make sure she is not "attacking" the kids. She does not yell or charge them... on the contrary she slowly approaches seeking to make eye contact but she seems genuinely sad and disappointed when they won't engage. Usually the moms of these kids act as if we are not even there. They don't say hello or try to encourage their child to wave back or smile. Now that said, I'm not expecting them to have a play date while we shop for clothes or groceries but how could a greeting and a smile hurt? Are we that uncivil? I mean we're supposed to live in a friendly city.
Regardless, I have to say I'm at a loss. I don't want her to feel discouraged or change her natural reaction to involve others. I want her to be the one who thinks of other kids, the one who shares her toys and asks others to join her play but I don't know how to explain or make her feel better when she's snubbed. I'd love your thoughts and advice. Please tell me how you deal with similar situations or if you're the mom who acts as if other kids and parents are not there, can you explain? Maybe if I understand your point of view I can formulate a way to better deal with my child's disappointment. Help me be a better mom. Share your comments as long as they are constructive I'm all ears.
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